Have you heard this term “Real World”? As in, “welcome to the real world”, “you won’t survive in the real world”, “you’re in college/school/entry job, you wouldn’t last a second in the real world”? I’m sure you have, we all have. It’s always someone that thinks they know better than us that say “real world”. So what is this real world and why should we be so afraid of it?
what is it?
“Real world” is an ambiguous word used by people to describe their recent experiences. A stock-broker may call the “real world” a world filled with money where nothing else matters, a stressful world that rewards the lucky, and the extremely smart (with money). A soldier may call the real world a place full of hate, guns, people ready to kill everyone else, a vengeful unforgiving world, a savage world. A college student may see the real world as the world where parents and people around them have high expectations of them, where education is the priority and without it life is not the same.
In truth, the “real world” is what you make of it. Among the popular notions of the “real world” in America, is that “American lifestyle”. The 9-5 job, married with children in a suburban home, a college degree, and pushing that lifestyle on their kids and THEIR kids. And they think that’s all there is to it. The problem is is that this ambiguous lifestyle, this cookie-cutter life affects 90% of the population (statistics not available). And while the real world expects everyone to adjust to this, it also beats everyone down to make this little dream almost impossible, and unbearable. Frequently, I hear the words “I give up”, or “I accept my fate”, because this subjective point of view has become a standard.
Many of my friends talk about having a different life, traveling maybe, starting up their own business, living a comfortable life but they feel as if they cannot because in the “real world”, you cannot survive without a degree. In the “real world” if you’re gay, you’ll be damned by everyone, in the “real world”, you’ll be broke, lonely and a desperate excuse for a human being if you don’t accept these following “truths”:
- you HAVE to have an education
- you HAVE to have a 9-5 job (for “stability”)
- you HAVE to make yourself a slave at your job
- you HAVE to sacrifice yourself for the “family”, your “community” or whatever
- you HAVE to have kids (before you’re 30) or, well, you’ll be deemed a failure at life
- you HAVE to be married, or you’ll end up dying alone, having a miserable life etc etc.
- you HAVE to manage your time well, because work will take up 40 hours of your week, and your family the rest (none for you, sorry)
Does it make sense?
As you can see, some of this stuff may make sense to you. You need an education, to get a 9-5 job, and you have to give it your all and more so that your family/community can prosper, and you need to be married so that you have that family stability, so that you can have kids and pass on your knowledge of the world and all that.
In the “real world”, you can’t make any other decisions, or, or as they say, you’ll end up wasting your life or living in misery.
Standing up for yourself
Shut up! Yes, shut up, don’t let this get to you. My friend recently wrote a long article of her own struggles toward her happiness and creating her own “real world”, called “dream to reality”. What’s interesting is that more and more people are finding alternative lifestyles, their own little worlds that make them happy.
Ask anyone on the internet or in the web development business, you don’t need to work 9-5, you don’t even need to 12-5, and you can make it. You can actually employ your skills at a job you create yourself. However, that’s just the beginning.
Let me tell you some “truths” of my own little world:
- you don’t need to be married to someone to have kids – an have a family
- you don’t need to slave yourself to death at a mundane 9-5 job – you can become self-employed, or as Infinite Possibilities
talks about, you can simply think money into existence, the money will come
- education is not essential. A piece of paper (in my real world) doesn’t mean anything.
- you can have kids whenever, if you’re 20, if you’re 40, it doesn’t make a difference
- life is not an eternal struggle, it’s a joyful existence
Sounds a bit better than the previous example, no? And they’re all true in my life, here’s how I learned these things:
- I’m adopting a child with my best friend, and maybe having one of our own as well.
- I’m self-employed and I work a total of 15 hours a week at about $25 an hour. And when I need extra money it ALWAYS shows up! (last week, I got a client with a 2 minute job, I got paid $30 for, and my usual employer paid me a couple hundred extra) If I need more money, I think to existence and it appears in different forms be it a deposit for a new project, some extra from my long-term employer, an acceptance of a proposal that will land me more clients, easier work, and more cash. It always shows up
- I’m almost a junior at college, and all the “education” I needed to do what I’m doing right now (supporting myself and having a ton of time for myself and my friends) I found online for free, and within a week or two
- Life is easy as long as you make it easy on yourself. And you do that by doing and desiring all that makes you happy.
Create your own world
Many books today talk about it and many people do this but it’s not easy (or maybe it is). You’ll have to push through against those innate beliefs others have instilled in you. Find out the secrets of life for yourself, even an ancient great Zen master doesn’t know about everything there is to life, he/she knows only about his/her life, no one else’s. Your counselor, pastor, friends, family, they can’t tell you about your world, it’s yours, it’s your own perception, your own mind that creates it.
If you want to give in to their pressure, fine, but only if that’ll make you happy. You want to work 9-5? Go for it, I’m not against it, I personally love working a lot.
But the best you can, even if you choose to accept this ambiguous real world is to do what’s best for yourself despite what others think and believe
